How a Romance Scam Works and What to Do
A romance scam is a professional operation that steals trust first, then money. Here is the script, the signs, and what the FBI and FTC say to do.
You met someone online. The messages felt real. Now there is an ask for money, or a knot in your stomach that will not go away. This page explains what a romance scam is, how it runs, and what the FBI and the FTC each say to do about it.
What a romance scam is
The FBI says in a romance scam, a criminal uses a fake online identity to gain a victim's affection and trust. The scammer then uses the illusion of a romantic or close relationship to manipulate and steal from the victim.
This is not a lonely person acting alone. The FBI says the criminals who carry out romance scams are experts at what they do and will seem genuine, caring, and believable. The FTC says many people looking for romance online instead find a scammer trying to trick them into sending money. Millions of people use dating apps and social media to meet someone, so the pool of targets is huge. Falling for this says nothing about your judgment.
How the script unfolds
The FTC says romance scammers create fake profiles on dating sites, apps, and social media and work to build your trust. The play usually runs the same way.
First, contact. The FTC says a romance scammer meets someone on a dating site or app, then wants to email, call, or message off the platform. Moving you away from the site is a deliberate step.
Second, closeness. The FTC says scammers build trust by talking or chatting several times a day. The FBI says the scammer wants to establish a relationship as quickly as possible, endear himself to the victim, and gain trust. The FBI says scammers may propose marriage and make plans to meet in person, but that will never happen.
Third, the story and the ask. The FTC says scammers make up a story and ask for money. Common versions are medical expenses, a ticket to visit you, a visa, or fees to get out of trouble.
The signs to watch for
Some signs repeat across cases.
- They will not meet. The FBI says if you haven't met the person after a few months, for whatever reason, you have good reason to be suspicious. Every reason to delay is a reason to doubt.
- A job story that keeps them far away. The FBI says scam artists often say they are in the building and construction industry and are engaged in projects outside the U.S. The distance explains why you can never meet.
- A rush for money that is hard to get back. The FTC says scammers want your money quickly and in a way that makes it hard to get back.
- An offer to help you invest in crypto. The FTC says scammers may offer to help you get started in cryptocurrency investing. That version is an investment scam wearing a relationship as a disguise.
- An ask to move your money to keep it safe. The FTC says never move your money to protect it, because that is a scam.
Scammers also mine what you share. The FBI says to be careful what you post and make public online. Scammers can use details shared on social media and dating sites to better understand and target you.
Why the money is hard to get back
The FTC says scammers want your money quickly and in a way that makes it hard to get back.
No one on this page can promise you a refund. The FBI and the FTC each say to report romance scams.
What the FBI says to do
The FBI's guidance is short and firm.
- Stop all contact with the scammer immediately. The FBI says this plainly for anyone who has been victimized.
- Be careful what you post and make public online.
- Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone.
- Report it. The FBI says to visit ic3.gov, the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center, to report romance scams.
What the FTC says to do
The FTC's advice covers some of the same ground and adds its own steps.
- Stop communicating with the person immediately and talk to someone you trust.
- Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you have not met in person.
- Never move your money to protect it.
- Report it. The FTC says to report a suspected scam at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, and to notify the social networking site or app where you met the scammer.
Is it your fault?
No. The FBI says these criminals are experts who seem genuine, caring, and believable, and that they are present on most dating and social media sites. The FTC says millions of people use these platforms to meet someone.